3 Conversation Techniques
During high school and college, I hated small talk. I preferred having deep conversations. But I didn’t speak that often due to shyness.
After learning different ways to improve my social abilities and speaking skills, I now understand how valuable small talk is.
Small talk is big talk. It’s important to make the emotional connection. It doesn't matter what we talk about, but talking about something that connects us.
FORD questions to turn small talk into big talk:
Family Occupation Recreation Dreams
Epistemology is the study of knowledge, or how we can know what we know. Street Epistemology is basically the Socratic method for everyday conversations about difficult topics or differing views. It’s a great way to cooperatively explore and discover the foundations of someone’s beliefs, whether they are political, religious, superstitious, or conspiratorial in nature.
When done correctly, the other person doesn’t feel threatened or defensive, and instead enjoys thinking deeper about why they hold certain views and whether they have good reason to. I’ve found this helpful when speaking to family who hold different religious or political views. Where before we would get into heated arguments, they are now more likely to feel heard and be open to other views.
Learn more at https://streetepistemology.com/
Vulnerable Impartial Empathy Wonder
VIEW is more a state of mind than a conversation technique. But it affects conversations. The main thing when conversing with someone else is to ask open-ended how/what questions rather than limited-answer yes/no questions or judgmental why questions. Being vulnerable means speaking your truth even when it’s scary. This could be about setting boundaries. Impartial means dropping your agenda and not judging the other person. Empathy is about understanding where the other person is coming from without losing yourself in their emotions. Wonder is awe, a simple curiosity.
Learn more at https://artofaccomplishment.com/podcast/ (starting with E1)
Update Jan 13, 2022: I talk more about the VIEW Connection course here