Starting therapy counseling
In childhood, I was taught that I’m inherently bad and deserving of hell, that I can’t trust myself for salvation or for doing good deeds, and that I shouldn’t love myself (because that’s pride/selfishness).
Even though I’ve deconstructed and no longer consciously hold those kinds of beliefs, there are still residual, subconscious, pathogenic beliefs that keep me trapped in some harmful behaviors.
I have trouble focusing on priorities like I want to. I tend to succumb to distractions. This affects my sleep, stress levels (often feel overwhelmed), and commitments (don’t trust myself to follow through/too scared of failure to put in the necessary effort).
I figured it’s time to see a therapist (technically a counselor who’s trained in various therapy methods). That’s what many people I follow are doing these days. It seems most people have have some kind of childhood trauma, even if they wouldn’t put it in those terms. So this is a proactive step towards improving mental health.